This
week I am proud to include a Character Interview of Iffy
Magic’s very own Zenaides by Sadie St. Elle-Maid of the Faerie Era, the premier
news folio in the Faerie Vale.
Art by Audrey Bagley |
*Please note that this portrait is several hundred years out of date.
No current image of Zenaides is available.
St. Elle-Maid: It’s not
often that I have the distinct dishonor of interviewing a pernicious pixie. How do you take your tea, one lump or two?
Zenaides: No sugar,
thank you. A pinch of dried hemlock will do nicely. And 'pernicious pixie’ is a
rather droll term, don’t you think? “Wicked fairy” suits me just fine.
St. Elle-Maid: As a thoroughly vile wicked fairy, how many mortals have you
hexed? And what is your favorite method of hexing; toad, frog or newt?
Zenaides: Not to brag—that’s
a hexable vice, after all—but I must admit that I lost count after the first
hundred or so. Over the centuries, I’ve found myself growing weary of the
common amphibious spell. I’ve recently started experimenting with fowl play in a
group hexing; “duck, duck goose” is my current favorite.
St. Elle-Maid:
Fascinating. And when did you first realize your destiny as a
nefarious foe of good fairy godmothers everywhere?
Zenaides: Oh, some ages
ago . . . I think there was a princess. Mine, actually! But she had the heart
of a viper and I had the temper of a dragon, and, well—enough about dull little old me. I only agreed to this interview because I wished to meet the
foolish nitwing who cast slanderous aspersions on Primrose Goodwing.
St. Elle-Maid: Aspersions?
I never—
Zenaides: I believe you
accused "Little Miss Pixie Perfect" of employing forbidden dark magic to create the notorious glass
slippers.
St. Elle-Maid: I was
only repeating my sources. My readership deserve the absolute, unvarnished
truth—
Zenaides: Malicious gossip
you fanned to a bonfire! You should be ashamed of your shoddy exposé. I count Miss
Goodwing as my particular acquaintance and can state with unequivocal candor that she is an upstanding pixie who could go far as a wicked fairy. Very
far.
St. Elle-Maid: Oh really?
Do tell us her wretched secret!
Zenaides: There’s
nothing secret about it. I knew from the moment that we crossed wands that Primrose
has a rebel spark in her. She won’t let nonsensical notions of the proper way
to be a fairy godmother get in the way of—
St. Elle-Maid: Wait,
you two dueled? Who won?
Zenaides: I know I said
that I rarely indulge in the classical hexes anymore, but I do believe a toad
hex will suit you well. The warts do wonders.
St. Elle-Maid: Don’t be
coy now. You’re clearly avoiding my question.
Zenaides: Am I, poppet?
Why not try out my hex for a day and then
guess who won.
St. Elle-Maid: I’ve
been a toad twice this month already; a unique hazard of my profession, I’m
afraid. Might I try something a little more exotic this time, perhaps an
“aardvark”?
Zenaides: Intriguing! As
you wish.
After a brief
stint flirting with dark magic as a ghost mime, Sadie St. Elle-Maid earned her
Silver Quill chronicling the mysterious mass evaporation of cloud ponies over
Mirage Desert. She has headed the Character Interview section of the Faerie Era
for two centuries now and is widely regarded as the supreme expert of
hexological pathologies.
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